Theodore's World: Friday's Funnies

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August 21, 2009

Friday's Funnies

......Thank you RAC for sending this to me.

RAC has a website that is awesome. 336th Assault Helicopter Company

13th Combat Aviation Battalion - 1st Aviation Brigade - Soc Trang, Republic of Vietnam



Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Larry turns to Doug and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.'

Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave.

The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.

'Logic?' Larry says. 'What's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'


'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Yes, I have a family.

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Doug says, 'What's that?'

Larry says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'


'Then you're a queer.

....Thank you Jack for sending this to me.

United States Army
Army Combat Engineers
Quang Tri & Chu Lai '68 -'69

Jack's blog is Conservative Insurgent



8 beers - $32
2 plane tickets - $1000
1 Day of a Harvard Professor's time - $500
1 Day of the Vice Presidents time - $850
1 Day of the President's time - $1,000

Watching 3 crooks apologize to an "honest cop"



Immigrant Sex

An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker.

"Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks.

"$100," she replies.

In broken English he says "Do you do Immigrant Style?"

"No" she says.

"I pay you $200 to do Immigrant Style."

"No", she says, not knowing what Immigrant Style is.

"I pay you $300."

"No", she says.

"I pay you $400."

"No", she says.
So finally he says, "OK, I pay $1,000 to do Immigrant Style."

She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request
from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Immigrant Style be?"

So she agrees and has sex with him. They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position.
Finally, after several hours, they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting.
But that was good. So what exactly is 'Immigrant Style'?"

The illegal immigrant replies "You send bill to da Government."




Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog ....
And Obama was a tree.


....Thank you Mark for sending this to me.

3rd Mar.Div. 1st Battalion 9th Marine Regiment
1/9 Marines aka The Walking Dead
VN 66-67


......Thank you so much Dap22 for sending this to me.

Major ( RET) Dustoff 22 (Dave)

Dustoff 22

45th Medical Company Fort Bragg to Long Binh
VN (67-68)
Flight Instructor
USArmy Helicopter Training Center

Posted by Wild Thing at August 21, 2009 05:48 AM


For the record, I own 2 weed-eaters.

Posted by: Jim at August 21, 2009 08:48 AM


Posted by: yankeemom at August 21, 2009 08:59 AM

Jim, LMAO good one.

Posted by: Wild Thing at August 21, 2009 08:06 PM

Got to keep a bright spot, let a little sunshine in once in a while.

Posted by: Mark at August 21, 2009 09:37 PM