Theodore's World: Turbanate Them

« "Stinky" Ahmadinejad | Main | Happy Easter To Everyone »

April 16, 2006

Turbanate Them

Iran suicide bombers ‘ready to hit Britain’

IRAN has formed battalions of suicide bombers to strike at British and American targets if the nation’s nuclear sites are attacked. According to Iranian officials, 40,000 trained suicide bombers are ready for action.

The main force, named the Special Unit of Martyr Seekers in the Revolutionary Guards, was first seen last month when members marched in a military parade, dressed in olive-green uniforms with explosive packs around their waists and detonators held high.

Dr Hassan Abbasi, head of the Centre for Doctrinal Strategic Studies in the Revolutionary Guards, said in a speech that 29 western targets had been identified:

“We are ready to attack American and British sensitive points if they attack Iran’s nuclear facilities.” He added that some of them were “quite close” to the Iranian border in Iraq.

In a tape recording heard by The Sunday Times, Abbasi warned the would-be martyrs to “pay close attention to wily England” and vowed that “Britain’s demise is on our agenda”.

At a recruiting station in Tehran recently, volunteers for the force had to show their birth certificates, give proof of their address and tick a box stating whether they would prefer to attack American targets in Iraq or Israeli targets.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warned last Friday that Israel was heading towards “annihilation”. He was speaking at a Tehran conference on Palestinian rights aimed at promoting Iran as a new Middle Eastern superpower.

According to western intelligence documents leaked to The Sunday Times, the Revolutionary Guards are in charge of a secret nuclear weapons programme designed to evade the scrutiny of the International Atomic Energy Agency.

One of the leaked reports, dating from February this year, confirms that President George W Bush is preparing to strike Iran. “If the problem is not resolved in some way, he intends to act before leaving office because it would be ‘unfair’ to leave the task of destroying Iran’s nuclear facilities to a new president,” the document says.

Alireza Jafarzadeh, a former spokesman for National Council of Resistance of Iran (NCRI), an opposition group, said a secret, parallel military programme was under way. According to sources inside Iran, the Revolutionary Guards were constructing underground sites that could be activated if Iran’s known nuclear facilities were destroyed.

The NCRI is the political wing of the Mujaheddin-e-Khalq, which is deemed a terrorist organisation in Britain and America. However, much of its information is considered to be “absolutely credible” by western intelligence sources after Jafarzadeh revealed the existence of the Natanz plant in 2002.

Within the past year, 14 large and several smaller projects have been created, according to Jafarzadeh. Several are designed to be nuclear factories; others are for the storage of weapons, he claimed.

Wild Thing's comment.....

The government in Iran needs its ass kicked hard. 40,000 trained suicide bombers? Good grief! Their rhetoric is on overkill!

Hey all you Revolutionary Guard Guys, most of us Amuricans hang out at a place in New York called the United Nations. But, please don't bomb that, we use that as a place to make our films about your culture being bad and we use that as a place to plan wars against your country. We'd be really unhappy if you bombed our United Nations headquarters in New York City.

Let me know if you need the address.

Posted by Wild Thing at April 16, 2006 12:04 AM


This story must be exagerated... the government of Iran is not the most inteligent of collectives, but they are not suicidal. They know perfectly well that the current US government would really like an excuse to bomb Iran back to the stone-age. They also know that if the US did invade... well, it might very well fail to keep hold of Iran afterwards, but it would have no trouble wipeing out the current government there.

So, bragging about having an army of suicide bombers is the equivilent of painting a country-sized target.

No, actually - its the equivilent of turning their back to the US, leaning forward and dropping pants. Its just inviting an invasion. Particually with Bush in his current situation - nothing to lose now, career at its peak, convinced he is leading a holy war, and desperate to make himself a place in history as the person who single-handedly civilised the islamic barbarians.

Unless, perhaps, Iran has become so isolated the people there are barely able to admit a world outside the middle-east exists.

Right now, there is only one thing preventing a war - congress. I have no doubt that Bush personally would invade Iran in a moment. With God on his side, he would not be worried about things like approval, logistics, overstretched military, the constitution, oil proces... but he does not have the authority to launch a war alone. He cannot do that without support from congress, and they know that the consequences would be severe.

Posted by: Suricou Raven at April 16, 2006 09:41 AM

I think the Captain and Crew stationed on the USS Vincennes in 1988 needs to be decorated. On July 4, 1988 the USS Vincennes celebrated the 4th of July by shooting down an airplane full of future terrorists.

Posted by: BobF at April 16, 2006 10:16 AM

Another threat by someone who has already stated he wants to destroy America and the West is just posturing. It may hurt him more at home by adding fuel to the fire of those Iranians who want a change of government.

Posted by: TomR at April 16, 2006 12:18 PM

Actually, I think the intention is quite the opposite. An attempt to stir up anti-western sentiment. Portrey the West as a monster poised to attack Iran. Point to the now-constant bombings in Iraq as evidence of the destruction the West brings. And then convince the people that only by fully supporting the government in every way can they hope for protection from this dangerous enemy. Then anyone who is not a supporter can be denounced as threat to security.

Where did I put that quote... ah,

"Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don't want war. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Herrman Goering. Nuremberg trial. He was right - it worked for the Iraq invasion, and it will work for the government of Iran. All they need to do is a careful balancing act - keep the country on the brink of war, where the political advantage is theirs, but never let it actually come to war. For they would be crushed.

Posted by: Suricou Raven at April 16, 2006 03:48 PM


Where do I begin? I suppose with this...which is that you possess the late Marxist, collectivist mentality, which always assumes "the common people" (Goering's quote)are the pawns of arbitrary and sinister leadership. The truth is, we have no way of knowing what effect Ahmadinejad's brinkmanship will have with Iranians not already disposed to follow or reject him. Period.

Moreoever, ascribing secondary motives to the Mullah government is an avoidance, on your part, of the simple fact that we have, in place at the top of the Iranian society, an apocalyptic death cult whose public statements are simply true, whether or not ten or 60 million Iranias agree with them.

You also continue with the cliche that the Mullahs and their rabid little dog are trying to stir up anti-Western sentiment, which in the ME had already at saturation wherever Islamism has a presence. How much does one need? You claim they aren't suicidal? You clearly misunderstand the millenarian tendencies of these loons. Suicide means nothing to men whose primary interest is the afterlife.

I also find your association of Goering's principle to the American public's willingness to fight the Iraq War as not only noxious and idiosyncratic, but also perverse. Your understanding of American society, and this war is primitive, at best. But given your other intellectual tendencies, which are contaminated by the theoretical disturbances common to people, like yourself, who see all political life in terms of movements, schemes, historical forces, religious wickedness and devious uses of power, you can think in no other way.

You should also free your intellect from the dead weight of your paranoia about Bush, his religious leanings, and religion in general. I have no doubt that, if you respond, your sentence will begin with "I have no complaints with religion, per se...", but then launch into a series of complaints.

You are really quite confused about many, many things.

Posted by: Rhod at April 16, 2006 04:54 PM


PS: I suspect you're an Englishman. I'm a recovering Anglophile myself. It took forty years, but I've given up on the Brits. Sure, you're in Iraq, too, but I'm sure you have some explanation for that.

Since you feel so free to evaluate American society, understand this. Blairistan is essentially a deconstructed version of the thing it tried to replace. New Labor is Old Labor with the snobbery, pretense and sense of entitlement of the hereditary classes intact. Alongside is the silly egalitarianism of socialism. Cockburn was right. There is almost nothing left of the things you used to be, except in a theme park form. In the end, The Webbs and their kind won the battle for your culture.

But what I find particularly offensive in leftist thinking, and especially in its British version,is that all of it is finally a critique of mass society. It's spreading to this country, too, and it reaches its pinacle in ideas like yours. The individual matters for nothing, except insofar as he/she is abused, exploited or used.

Whatever you've written can ultimately be reduced to a defiled relationship between the rulers and the ruled. Whether its Iran, or the US, or East Jebrewistan, it's the same old thing. It's boring, unimaginative and tired.

Posted by: Rhod at April 16, 2006 05:18 PM

I agree Bob that is a great idea!!! Thanks for the link too.

Posted by: Wild Thing at April 17, 2006 09:41 AM

Hi Tom they just never end their stupid threats. sheesh

Thanks for commenting.

Posted by: Wild Thing at April 17, 2006 09:45 AM