Theodore's World: "Born To Be Wild" Senator Kerry ~ UGH!

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April 14, 2006

"Born To Be Wild" Senator Kerry ~ UGH!

John Kerry Roughing it with Butler

Responding to criticism that he had a laundry list of demands when he stayed in luxury hotels on the campaign trail, Sen. John Kerry said yesterday that he recently took a trip where he slept every night in his truck - accompanied only by his motorcycle, a friend and his butler, "Marvin."

Asked about the trip by radio host Don Imus, Kerry explained:

"Marvin and Teddy and myself . . . We had the best damned time, I'll tell you."

"It was wonderful," the top Democrat declared. "We didn't stay anywhere. We actually drove all night. We slept in the truck. We cruised through, you know, a couple of little pit stops early in the morning. It couldn't have been nicer."

Kerry insisted that he and his butler were really roughing it, painting a picture right out of the hippie rebel movie, "Easy Rider."

"We didn't have any pillows. I'll tell ya, man. It was really funny cause I blew into some little gas station around midnight or two in the morning, whenever it was, and some guy would do a double take and look at ya. They just couldn't figure out what I was doing there at that hour of the morning."

"I couldn't figure it out either," the born-to-be-wild senator added.

Kerry didn't explain who "Teddy" was - or why, if he wanted to rough it, he brought his manservant, Marvin Nicholson, along for the ride.

In 2004, Mr. Nicholson detailed some of his responsibilities to the New York Times, which began its report by noting: "Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to."

"When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready," Marvin explained.

Among the items Nicholson carries at all times for the rough and ready Democrat: Swedish hand cream, Scope mouthwash, Handiwipes, two packs of Band-Aids, Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels, Advil Sinus pills, a sewing kit, a can of diet milkshake ,Kerry prefers strawberry, a tube of Blistex and a myriad of other accouterments.

The Times noted that Kerry, husband of billionairess Teresa Heinz, pays his trusty manservant a mere $45,000 annually.

Wild Thing's comment..........

LMAO ..... whew, ok my side has stopped hurting from laughing so hard. First we had Gore getting input on how to be macho and he got the training from a woman of all things. Sorry but I have never in my life met a guy that had to learn how to be macho. hahahahaha Thank you God!

Now we hear how Kerry, attempts to rough it. Not without his butler though, and then slept in a truck at night. Roughing it? Oh dear me!

Posted by Wild Thing at April 14, 2006 12:27 AM


I believe he travals with the manservant so he can cornhole him a ditch the witch Terrrassa. damn that is scary. Okay bend over Marv.

Posted by: Jack Hamilton at April 14, 2006 04:47 AM

I was thinking that, too, Jack. I was also thinking that Kerry seems more like Bertie Wooster every day, a barnacle on the sunken wreck of the old Eastern ruling class. He didn't have a pillow? What an effing moron.

Only a numbskull like him can make a drama out of "roughing it" in America for a few days, like he was living among pygmies or head hunters.

Posted by: Rhod at April 14, 2006 06:44 AM

Roughing it with a manservant by your side. Gosh, that’s funny.

Of course that was roughing it to Al Gore. He was out among where the working people live. To him it was like one of us being on the Wilderness Trail. We have to remember that Al Gore has no clue what it’s like to do actual physical labor.

Posted by: BobF at April 14, 2006 09:56 AM

I guess to Kerry this little foray was equivalent to crossing the prairie in a Conastoga wagon. Could Teddy be a stuffed bear, or was the other Mass senator out of sight for a few days? Is his "friend" a Brokeback Mountain type? Is Kerry's truck a million dollar camper? Was there a massive support group not mentioned? Was this trip within the city limits of Boston??

Posted by: TomR at April 14, 2006 12:52 PM

And will he get another Silver Star and two Purple Hearts for this rough adventure?

Posted by: TomR at April 14, 2006 12:54 PM

ROTFLMAO You ALL have me laughing so hard here.

Posted by: Wild Thing at April 14, 2006 12:58 PM

Flashbacks I tell you, it's flashbacks, reliving his Cambodian caper is stressfull, he needed his butler. Could Ted be his pillow(could that be Ted Kennedy?)or his snugglebunny and not his Teddy Bear?

Posted by: Jack at April 14, 2006 08:49 PM

Jack lmao soooo good!
I would like to know too! Who the heck is this Teddy person that was along with Kerry. hahaahaha

Posted by: Wild Thing at April 15, 2006 01:31 AM

Boy, did I mess up. I wrote Al Gore when it should have been Kerry. But, their both idiots and hard to tell them apart.

Posted by: BobF at April 15, 2006 09:18 AM

Bob.........Hahahaha I agree they BOTH are, it really is the same person hahahha well almost anyway.

Posted by: Wild Thing at April 15, 2006 01:56 PM